Denial, Acceptance and Fairytales
by Averil
Summary: Crack!Fic. Draco has denial issues, then he doesn't, and then fairytales become involved. Draco Malfoy got such a hard life. HD.


**Denial, Acceptance and Fairytales**

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Draco Malfoy shut his mouth with a snap.

"Draco, dear?" Pansy cooed from his side, reaching out a hand and patting his forearm. "Whatever's the matter?"

Draco stabbed at his pancakes. "Do you ever think that Potter and the Weasel are too close?"

Blaise sighed. Pansy's eyes narrowed.

"Nails! Nails, Pansy!" Draco shrieked, nursing his arm. "What on earth is the matter with you, woman? Are you _trying_ to give me scars?" _Sniff_. "I'm _not_ a Potter wannabe."

Blaise covered his eyes as Draco looked at Pansy and grinned.

"Pansy, _darling_. You cannot kill me with a _spoon_."

&&&

"Blaise, did you notice when I was shrie- screaming in a most manly tone this morning, Potter came over and saved me." Draco smoothed his hair down and smiled.

Blaise sneered back. "Potter has a 'saving people' thing."

Draco gave a little growl; Crabbe and Goyle perked up at the sound of impending violence and Blaise fought the urge to run from the dorm room. He was a man, after all. "It wasn't a life or death situation," Blaise pointed out.

"The spoon looked pretty deadly from where I was sitting," Draco hissed out as he advanced on Blaise.

Later, while recovering in the Medical Wing, Blaise wished Crabbe and Goyle would have shown some consideration for a fellow Slytherin.

&&&

"Crabbe, Goyle, my faithful, faithful moro-, _cough_, minions I mean," Draco said as he examined his nails. "Do you think Potter was just doing his 'saving people' thing?"

"Potter saves things?" Crabbe grunted.

"Potter saves _people_, and this morning, he saved _me,_" Draco said a bit slower.

"Potter hates you," Goyle stated.

"Yes, yes, let's wave that minor issue away. He saved _me_." Draco brightened. "Do you think that means he loves me?"

"We save you," Crabbe grunted.

"We love you?" Goyle asked.

Draco retched. "Gross…"

&&&

Draco confronted Potter after Potions. "Potter."

"Malfoy."

"Yesterday."

"The day before this."

"Correct. You saved me. Why?"

"The shrieking was hurting my ears."

Potter hit the floor with a _thump!_ Malfoy quickly hid his Potions Book, his 1004 page, hard cover Potions Book, checked for the Weasel and the Mudblood before leaning over Potter's unconscious form and muttering, "I do not shriek. I scream. And when I do, it's manly." He huffed, kissed Potter and ran off to Charms.

He spent the whole lesson writing "_Because I can"_ over and over on any piece of parchment he could find. Nott leaned over and asked, "Because you can what?"

Draco held the parchment to his chest and hissed, "Don't judge me!" before storming off to another desk.

&&&

"Earlier today," Dumbledore said gravely at dinner, "Harry Potter was attacked."

Gasps filled the hall.

"He was knocked out by what we think was a troll hammer. If anyone has any information, please come and talk to me --"

Whispers soon drowned Dumbledore out, Draco cleared his throat and thought of his Potions Book and quickly joined the conversation, stating that surely a troll wasn't on the school grounds.

"If a troll is on the school grounds then obviously Dumbledore is a worse Headmaster than we first thought," Pansy said.

Draco's eyes lit up. "Clearly, he should be sacked." …_And I am a Mastermind…_

_GoDraco! GoDraco! GoDraco! GoDraco! GoDraco !GoDraco!_

"Are you humming, Draco?" Blaise asked. "Aren't you worried?"

Draco opted for an innocent look. "Humming with fear…"

Blaise nodded and turned to Pansy. "Cleary disturbed," he whispered. She nodded. Draco didn't hear anything.

_GoDraco! GoDraco! GoDraco! GoDraco! GoDraco! GoDraco!_

&&&

Draco went to visit Potter in the hospital wing.

"I remember everything," Potter stated.

Draco paled. "You do not."

Potter flushed. "Well no, I don't, but you were there. You must of seen the troll and not warned me."

"You saw a troll?" Draco asked, surprised.

"No. But Hagrid had Ralph over for tea and -"

"Hold it Potter. Hagrid had a_ troll_ over last night? A _troll_ named _Ralph_? A _troll_ named _Ralph_ and he _dined_ with it?"

"Hagrid swears that Ralph is quite friendly though -"

Draco, completely and utterly overwhelmed, fainted.

&&&

Draco woke a few hours later to find he and Potter had switched positions, he was now lying (and _damn_ did he look good on his back) on the bed and Potter was standing over him, biting his lip. Draco cleared his throat. "Potter, you fiend you! You kissed me."

Silence.

"What!" Potter screeched after a moment. "Malfoy, I don't know what you have been dreaming but honestly I don't want nor need to know, so please, _please_ don't tell me."

Draco sniffed. "Calm down Potter, honestly. Everyone knows that when you fall into a deep sleep, you can only be awoken by the kiss of your true love."

Potter paled. "Malfoy… one, that's princesses who prick their fingers. Two, you fainted, you didn't fall into a deep sleep and three, I'm NOT your true love!"

Draco smiled knowingly. "Ok, _honey._" He winked.

"Oh god."

"Draco, actually, but I suppose if that's what you think of me, it can't be helped," Draco said, looking slightly put upon for a moment. "But really you must learn to think of me as your partner, not your equal because really, look at your hair. But if you continue to think of me as your God, then this relationship might not work."

"My god, my god, my god."

"Harry, muffin, is anyone around?"

"No," Harry replied, voice muffed and looking like he was on the verge of crying.

"Well then, let's have wild monkey sex, shall we?" Draco said brightly, beginning to remove his top.

"Oh, er, what?" Harry flushed.

Draco looked at Harry from under his lashes in what he knew was his 'sexy' look, mirrors were lifelines, and said, "Well, obviously you kissed me, woke me up and are my true love. I'm convinced. So now you can have your wicked way with me all you want." Draco smiled. "I'm _very_ willing."

Harry said nothing for a moment, his face frozen in what Draco considered to be a lovely shade of red, then his hands went to his shirt. "You should be very grateful, _Draco_. If I hadn't kissed you, you might never have woken up."

"Oh, I am." Draco smirked, exchanging a look with Harry.

Then, Harry pounced.

&&&

Oh Draco's just an easy bastard isn't he? Heh. Thanks to Healer Molly for the beta, any mistakes left are my own. I don't own Harry Potter, sadly. And comments are appeciated, flames aren't. If you didn't like this I really don't want to know :)

Side note: '_You cannot kill me with a spoon._' Is a saying I found ages ago and it still amuses me. Yes people, that is the state of my brain. The saying actually went like this: '_Kill me with a spoon._' I said it for ages.


End file.
